The Burden of Poverty
The burden of poverty on poor children is “intimately entwined” with shame.
“Please, sir, may I have some more,” were the famous words uttered by the protagonist Oliver in the 1838 novel Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens.
Being an orphan, Oliver did not want gold, a mansion, or a fancy car. He merely asked for more food because he was hungry.
Too often, a hungry child is automatically “viewed” as a criminal.
The words “I’m hungry” uttered by a child who has never experienced poverty means — I know there is food, so make me something to eat.
This child knows and understands that they will get food because there is, even if it’s uncooked.
When “I’m hungry” is said by a child who has experienced hunger, desperation and shame are attached to those words. Desperation because they have not eaten in a while (often days) and shame that they have to ask, knowing there is nothing to eat.
There is a difference between having a lack of food and never having food. The lack of food for some children is temporary, but for others, not!
The burden of poverty:
As a child who grew up in abject poverty, you carry the burden of poverty. People look at you differently and, more often than not, have little patience for you.
You are labelled greedy because you consume more than your tiny body can ingest when there is food.
You don’t know when you will eat again, so it’s unsurprising that you overeat.
Sometimes you choose not to eat when presented with food because your stomach can’t handle the type of food offered or the amount dished.
You have no pride, so you stand in line at charity events like soup kitchens, waiting for your turn.
As a child, the burden is on you to show humility so people can feed you. When you have pride, it’s “misinterpreted” as being ungrateful.
You, therefore, have to put on a “sad” face and elicit sympathy from donors, as if your circumstances are not sad enough.
The shame of poverty:
“Your mom is lazy.”
“She doesn’t know how to work with money.”
“Why did she have you if she could not afford to feed you?”
“You just want money, or you are always begging. “
These are some of the things people utter to shame a poor child. These were some things I heard when I was a little girl.
Nobody talks about the fact that maybe the parent is not earning enough.
Nobody talks about the fact that some poor people who are “drowning” in debt have borrowed money (at high-interest rates)to “put food on the table.” This results in a vicious cycle of perpetual poverty.
Nobody talks about the fact that the Government and big Corporations “abuse” poor people so they can prosper or be “re-elected” to office.
Instead, the child is “shamed” for wanting or, should I say, needing some food.
Are the torn clothes or lack of shoes insufficient “evidence” that the child is poor?
A lack of food does not mean a lack of love.
Intentionally starving your child is abuse, but that’s not what this is about.
I was loved, just not by some family members, neighbours or teachers who felt that I did not display enough humility and gratitude when there was “free food.”
In hindsight, the food was never free because it was conditional upon my displays of piety.
The poor child is frowned upon when they have pride and hold their heads up high.
The poor child is laughed at when they have ambitions and are called unrealistic.
The burden of “proof of poverty” is on the poor child who has to answer adult questions such as, “Why are you struggling?”
The poor child is “shamed” for being poor when their parents or caregivers have substance abuse problems.
Sometimes it’s not what people say, although that is bad enough, but how people react to the poor child.
These reactions further reinforce the notion in the child’s mind that poverty is something to be ashamed of.
In closing:
The other day I went with my granddaughter to a street vendor selling fruit and sweets. I asked her to choose what she wanted, and after paying for it, I received some change from the man. As I turned towards the car, a little boy (he looked about ten years old) asked me for money to buy apples. I was giving him the bit of change I had when some men chased him away, “branding” him a nuisance. They apologized to me for the boy bothering me.
I chastised them and explained that I was once like that little child they were chasing away.
As a society, we need to do better for poor children. The burden and shame of poverty should not be theirs to bear.
