Thank you for this article A M Dulant. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I have been married to a white man for 32 years and it grates me when, firstly, people (my own people), think I married above my "station," in life and thus should be grateful. Even if my husband was abusive, (which he isn't) I fear he would get a "pass," if I were to ever complain about it, both from my family and friends and his.
Secondly, being married to a white man means I fell in love. It's that simple. Neither of us sought to do this. However, the onus is on me to continue uplifting Black and Brown men (and women) but never to vilify them and lump them together as all bad.

I come from a strong line of Indigenous people in South Africa and am proud of my heritage and roots. It irks me that just because I married outside of my race, that some people (on both sides) expect me to be hard on Black men.

I won't do it. I refuse! They have it hard enough with racism, police brutality etc, without someone like me adding fuel to the fire. My Facebook is riddled with Black men who are comfortable being vulnerable in my presence and who listen when I need to call them out. We are playing a dangerous game by perpetuating the myth that Black men are inherently violent when history shows us it's actually the other way around.
In closing, I have seen too much suffering during Apartheid and presently and if my voice is alone in unravelling the lies of violent, stupid, lazy, Black men, then so be it.

Thanks again for your article. 🙏🏾