Indecent Proposal:

“Porsche or Lamborghini, you can choose the car you want!”

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

I felt like a moviegoer watching my life play out on the big screen.

I received a marriage proposal from a wealthy man who wanted to “sleep” with me. I thought we were friends, but he had other ideas. To be fair, he never forced me to do anything and was perfectly respectable when we were together. He wasn’t my type, though. Those years, I was into the geeks and nerds, “the quiet, confident-lacking man in the corner.”

My poverty-stricken childhood made me hyper-aware that far too many times, it was easy to think money could solve all problems, and too many women like me marry to escape poverty and abuse. I wanted the “Pretty Woman” type of love- an attractive, kind, and wealthy man. It seemed like a tall order, hence my years of single status. I was the proverbial ugly duckling who suddenly grew up having men propose their undying love for me. It seemed surreal because being told you’re ugly then beautiful was confusing. The feelings of inadequacy, ugliness and lack remained inside a now attractive package.

Tony* (not his real name) was older, wealthy, and had ordinary looks. I know without a doubt that I would have thrown myself at his feet and been his “beck and call girl” if he looked anything like Robert Redford in the movie “Indecent…