Sweetest Taboo part XI: Stop objectifying women of colour: My love and I were invited to a friend’s barbecue. We had been together for about 6 years already. Our circle of friends was small, not because I am unfriendly but because I guard my personal spaces with the vigour a…

She Named My Baby I am writing this not as an authority on transgender people but as a cishet person who had a close friend who is transgender. …

Goldilocks was GUILTY: The Goldilocks phenomenon: The belief that has swept society for a while is that you have to be a certain way when you’re a victim. We believe victims of violence when they look “pure.” Our idea of purity is “challenged” when the victim is loud, sassy, a…

The Sweetest Taboo Part X Is this legal? My love and I landed in financial trouble when we lost our jobs. There is nothing worse than not knowing your rights and having creditors hound you until you promise to pay, even if you have to sell a kidney. The constant…

Cougar or Predatory Groomer? You decide: As a 13-year-old, I was not only abused when I was younger but a victim of constant sexual suggestions, catcalling and groping by much older men. …

The Sweetest Taboo Part IX: Under the magic spell. My mother in law and I have declared a truce. We both love the same man in different ways, and hopefully, she realizes that I am not the worst that could happen to her son because I am not white. So…

Words can heal or harm: they can uplift your spirits and make them soar as if you’re floating on a cloud of weightlessness while injected with ketamine. They can also plunge you into the darkest recesses of hell, making you feel depressed, unworthy and generally “not good enough.” Some stories…

The Sweetest Taboo Part VIII Snookered again: What is it about men and belonging to clubs like soccer clubs, golf clubs, tennis clubs and so forth? "My love, why do you feel the need to belong to one of those clubs?" I ask curiously. "Because it's male bonding, and who…

Trauma became my anaesthetic: When violence becomes the norm in a society where children grow up, they dont know how to process it. In this instance, I am talking about the violence beyond the four walls we called home. Years ago, my family and I were on vacation in Los Angeles, California. We…